It's 5.30 in the morning and i'm sitting at McD, just finished my really really early breakfast. It's the first time i can eat solid food since the past 3 days, all thanks to the stomach flu. Spended New Years all alone watching cable. Man, hows depressing is that lol

        I also finished reading a stephen king book entitled cell, it was pretty awesome. It's my first stephen king book, read it in 3 days. Really took a liking to his imagination, liked all the details of the gore and such.

        Woah, a really hot chick passby as i was looking through the window, had a stiffy lol Truth is, i use to always feel envious of my friends and cousin who had a really close bond with their dads. Really wanted that, but as you i'll never get that. The only thing i can do, is really take care of health so when i have a child of my own i'll try to be his best friend. So, no pressure future son...no pressure. The only thing i'll do is ground your ass forever if you wont let me jk jk

        New year's never ever since my dad past away. I pretty much had a hell of a new year last year, burying my dad on that day lol. 

        Suppose to go to the air steward interview 2 weeks ago, didnt went. Felt really shy, god knows why haha If anybody who read my blog happen to be working as an air steward or stewardess, please comment me. I wanna ask some questions on being an air steward. Thank you...

        I woke up at 11 today. Man do i feel great, apart from feeling dehydrated. I'm 19, a bum and still dont know what to do. Is it because the shrink said i'm depressed, which cause my lack of interests in certain stuff. OR? I'm just afraid to make a move out of the fear to make mistakes. Well, life's a bitch.

        Some people get lost and think they're alone in this world, where there be no one to empathise the negative emotions they have inside. I was like that, thinking i'm alone. Thinking nobody will understand me, thinking "hey, suicide looks like a good way to go.". I was an idiot back then, immature. Actually i was not alone, i forgotted that i have this special group of people that still love me. MY FAMILY

        I didnt realised if i had commited suicide, not only i would have been condemned to hell. I would have killed my family too, they would have blame themselves for not detecting my attempt before it happened or think what did we do to make him this unhappy. I also came to the conclusion, that it is like running away from your problems instead of facing it. Since then, i try to do stuff that i thought impossible. One was quitting smoking, i realised smoking only gave me artificial happiness. When the effect withdrew i felt quilty for betraying my belief of fitness is a lifestyle, i would beat myself up about it. The next one after that. Your friends determined what kind of person you are, i started hanging with my old basketball friends. It made quitting smoking easier, after quitting smoking i felt much happier. My next one is... Climbing mount kinabalu, which i hope i can achieve that in the near future

        After going through all that. I learned nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it, i'll just do it one step at a time. I'm out of things to say. Bye